University Of Jokes

Welcome! You are here,

GET ADMISSION NIGERIA

OUTSIDE ARENA

UNIVERSITY OF JOKES

Hit Like For Your Picture To Appear

Super Eagles hold Scotland to 2-2 Draw

The Super Eagles played out a pulsating 2-2 draw with the Tartan Army of Scotland at Craven Cottage in London on Wednesday night in preparation for the 2014 World Cup in Brazil next month

Coach Stephen Keshi started out with an experimental side as Joseph Yobo came back into the fold

JOKES, JOKES, JOKES

1. A man caught his wife in bed with his best friend. Out of anger, he took his gun and shoots his friend. Out of fear, his wife shouted, "FRANK! FRANK! If u continue like this, u will lose all your friends o!"

 

2. Peter: teacher, do honey have legs?

AKPORS AND HIS WIFE

Akpors came back home at midnight and knocked on the door:

 Wife: Go back to where you're coming from!

Akpors: Woman! open this door oh, or I'll jump into the pool!

 Wife: Go ahead and kill yourself, do you think I care?

QPR returns to the EPL with two others...

QPR secured a return to the top flight when, despite playing with 10 men for the last 30 minutes after Gary O'Neil was sent off, they beat a superior Derby County team 1-0 at Wembley with a last-minute goal from veteran striker Bobby Zamora.

Asked if he could see his side winning late on, Redknapp told talkSPORT: "No way. We were bang under the cosh.

"They had the extra man and we looked like we were tired. We were desperate and then we go and

Make your own transfer rumour

Make your own transfer rumour

Mine is Yaya Toure going to Accrington Stanlcy at $88m

Real Madrid beat Atletico Madrid 4-1 to win 10th European title

A late equalizer from Ramos kept Madrid’s Decima hope alive after Diego Godin capitalized on a dreadful error from Iker Casillas to head home in Lisbon on Saturday.

Real Madrid secured an historic 10th European title as they came from behind to secure a thrilling 4-1 win over Atletico Madrid in

Chelsea linked with SHOCK move to SACK Jose Mourinho and bring in Diego Simeone

The improbable reports coming out of France suggest that Blues owner Roman Abramovich is unhappy with Mourinho's failure to win any silverware this summer and believes Simeone is the man to take Chelsea forward.

Indeed, French publication Le10Sport sensationally suggest that

Jokes Arena

Welcome! You are here,

OUTSIDE ARENA

JOKES ARENA

Post Any Joke and anything interesting for others to read. Click here to ask Admission question as

LATEST FREE ZAIN, MTN, GLO AND ETISALAT chits

Opera mini Cheat Code For Browsing Free With Your Phones

ZAIN WAP BROWSER

This Ip rockz well

IP: proxy2u.info, fakestudent.com, s-hhhh.com, takemefacebook.com

PORT: 80

Then pass through the Homepage.

Enjoy this cheat on your Phone Normal Browser

ARSENAL’S JUBILATION OVER FA CUP WIN

Though so tough for Arsenal and their fans, but after nine years spent desperately waiting for a title, Arsenal fans finally got the chance to celebrate the end of the drought as the Gunners paraded the FA Cup on an open-top bus in north London.

 

The team set off from the Emirates Stadium under sunny skies and made its way toward Islington Town Hall on Sunday, stopping regularly to thank the chanting fans packed on both sides of the

Atlético Madrid celebrate La Liga title after draw at Barcelona

Atlético Madrid havedone it. A year after they went to the Santiago Bernabéu and took the Copa del Rey from Real Madrid, they came here and took the league title from FC Barcelona. It is their first in 18 years. Next they travel to Lisbon to play their first European Cup final for 40 years. What Diego Simeone and his side have achieved is barely believable. Barcelona's supporters recognised the magnitude of what they had witnessed: when the

Please who is this man?

 
Did He Lie?

U dey watch ball for viewing centre. Chelsea vs man u... 1 guy just enter seat next to u.

D guy: Bros how fa na match them dey play?
You: Yes na sheybi na im u dy watch.

D guy: Ok. Abeg who dey play?

You: na im be dat na. Chelsea vs man u.

D guy: oh ok. Abeg who wear blue?

SUMMARY OF PREMIER LEAGUE SEASON 2013–14

 

CHAMPIONS
Manchester City

2nd Premier League title

4th English title

RELEGATED        

Cardiff City

Fulham

Norwich City

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE   

Manchester City

Liverpool

Chelsea

Arsenal

EUROPA LEAGUE

Everton

STANDFORD BRIDGE ON FIRE; Jose Mourinho sacked?

Chelsea Manager Jose Mourinho may be sacked in the coming weeks as reports say that the owner of the club Roman Abramovich is already growing tired of the antics of the Portugese as he is constantly in the media and has failed to win any trophy in his first season back at Stamford Bridge.

Mourinho is one of the most successful coaches in the history of Chelsea helping them to their first premier league title in his first reign at the club in the 2004/2005 season and followed it up with another title, the FA

Manchester City crowned champions after effortless win over West Ham

This time, they spared the emotions of their supporters. There was no late drama. No bedlam. For once, Manchester City resisted any temptation to make life unnecessarily hard for themselves. Instead, they just rolled up their sleeves and set about finishing off their work. They are the champions of England and they did it in a way that made the old City, the club where once they said it should have a Government health warningfeel like a fading memory.

By the time it was all done, Manuel Pellegrini's team had clocked up 102 goals and it was probably just a surprise they did not manage to get one more to equal Chelsea's 2010 record from the Premier League era. Sergio Agüero is probably thinking the same after the sitter he passed

IKE UCHE TO MISS WORLD CUP

Ike Uche’s gymnastic goal celebrations will be missed at this year's World Cup as the striker’s name was not seen in the Stephen Okechukwu Keshi's 30-man shortlist for the World Cup in Brazil.

Norwich City defender Joseph Yobo, who has not played for the national team for over a year, and in-form Stoke City striker Peter Odemwingie both made it into the

30 MAN LIST AS RELEASED BY STEPHEN OKECHUKWU KECHI SQUAD

Goalkeepers - Vincent Enyeama, Austin Ejide, Chigozie Agbim, Daniel Akpeyi

Defenders - Elderson Echiejile, Juwon Oshaniwa, Godfrey Oboabona, Azubuike Egwuekwe, Kenneth Omeruo, Joseph Yobo, Kunle Odunlami, Efe Ambrose

Midfielders - John Mikel Obi, Ogenyi Onazi, Ramon Azeez, Joel Obi, Nosa Igiebor,

ARE YOU PROUD TO BE A CHRISTIAN?

Our journey began at Genesis through Exodus. On the way, we saw Leviticus recording the Numbers of people at Deuteronomy, while Joshua was waiting at the beautiful gate for Judges to see Ruth calling loudly "Samuel,Samuel". At a stage, the, first and second Kings of Chronicles were coming to visit Ezra, Nehemiah and Esther for the misfortune of Job, their brother. Then they noticed that Mr. Psalms was teaching his children Proverbs concerning Ecclesiastes and Songs of Solomon. This coincided with the period that Isaiah and Jeremiah were engaged in Lamentation for Ezekiel and Daniel their friend. By that time, Amos and Obadiah were not around. Three days later, Hosea, Joel and Jonah traveled in the same ship with Micah and

ABEG WHO I GO MARRY

I WAN MARRY OO......

I'm planning to marry IJEOMA but OLUCHI is more beautiful.. NDIDI has a nice character dan TOCHI. But come to think of it i still love TINA but ANTHONIA loves me more and now EBELE is also in love with me but she's too harsh. Amaka is also in love with me but she is short unlike JANE and i don't like LOVETH's character but HALIMA is manageable only dat she's an hausa girl and her father will not allow her mary me.. I remember MARY nd i had a promise but BLESSING says I must mary her and JOY will never let me go even wen JENNIFER insist she loves me and FAVOUR is still chasing me. Meanwhile i dnt

NOW WHO COPIED FROM EACH OTHER? AKPORS OR MUSA

Musa & Akpors dey scatter fight outside

examination hall, classmates gather.

Wetin happen na?

Akpors: Dis idiot copy me 4 exam!

Musa: Copy wetin? I no write anything, na blank sheet i submit!

2014 MTN FOUNDATION SCHOLARSHIP Application is ongoing. Apply Now!!!

Closing date for receipt of application is Tuesday May 4th 2014  more details here>>

5 THINGS YOU MUST NOT SLEEP WITH

1. DONT SLEEP WITH WATCH - Watches emit a cetain level of radioactivity. Though small but if you wear them to bed for a long time it might have adverse effects to your health.

2. DONT SLEEP WITH BRA - Scientist in Maeica have discovered that those that wear bras for more than 12 hours have higher risk of getting breast cancer.

3. DONT SLEEP WITH PHONE - Putting your phone beside you is not encouraged. Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks but please put the phones as far as possible.

AKPORS AND PROFESSOR, who is now the real Professor?

A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor(Akpos): Do you know Biology,

Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?

The sailor(Akpos) said NO to all his questions.

Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.

After a while the boat started sinking. 

The Sailor (Akpors) asked the Professor, do you know swiminology and escapology from sharkology?

WHO DO YOU THINK IS MORE FOOLISH, AKPORS OR JAMES?

Mr James and his friend Mr Akpos were arguing about their sons’ stupidity.

Mr James argued that his son was more silly than Akpo’s son. Akpos father however disagreed, so they decided 2 put their sons to a test.

James called his son and asked him to buy something for him at the market.
The boy ran out without even asking for what to buy and money.

James said:  U see how silly he is? He didn’t even ask for what to buy or money “

You can now BORROW AIRTIME ON ANY NETWORK

 MTN= *606#

 AIRTEL= *500#
 GLO=  *321*amount#
 ETISALAT= *665 amount#
 Hope it helps.?

THIS LIFE SELF: Oh? this is increadible!

COCK COMMITED SUCCIED, (LOOK)

Nawa ooo... Na Which kind badluck come be dis one nah?

 

READ FULL STORY, TYPE AMEN IF TO CLAIM IT!

A King had a male servant who, in all circumstances always said to him; My king, do not be discouraged because everything God does is perfect, no mistakes.
One day, they went hunting and a wild animal attacked the king, the servant managed to kill the animal but couldn't prevent his majesty from losing a finger. Furious and without showing gratitude, the King said; if God was good, I would not have been attacked and lost one finger.
The servant replied, 'despite all these thi...ngs, I can only tell you that God is good and everything He